How To Write A Eulogy

Some day you may be called upon to write a eulogy for a friend or relative. Writing a eulogy is a wonderful thing, but it carries some pressure. If you knew the deceased person well your emotions may be overwhelming as you try to write the eulogy. Here are some tips for writing a eulogy that will be gracious and dignified.
. If you are too overwhelmed with emotion, don’t do it. If you are too upset to even think properly, you won’t be able to write a coherent eulogy. Be honest about your emotional state. It’s better to not write a eulogy than to write something that barely makes sense, or is so filled with raw emotion that it is upsetting to read.
. Make it personal. The best eulogies are the ones that tell personal stories about the deceased. Think of some events that really sum up the person, to show what that person was all about. If you don’t know any, talk to the person’s friends or family to get some personal stories.
. Use humor. Yes, humor. A eulogy doesn’t have to be unrelentingly sad. Many times eulogies are read at the end of a funeral service, and the congregation is grateful for a chance to laugh. A funny anecdote from the deceased’s life is often a way to celebrate the positive aspects of that person’s life. Make sure you don’t go overboard, though, and turn the eulogy into a standup comedy performance, or use humor that is inappropriate.
. Keep your own emotions in check. Eulogies are not an opportunity to settle scores or bring up old grudges. Do not say anything inflammatory, about the deceased, their family, or anyone else connected with them. Don’t try to be their advocate, or explain why they did this or that. The time for that is over.
. End on a high note. There is always some sunshine in every life, and a good eulogy will celebrate that sunshine. End your eulogy with something uplifting about the deceased’s life, a last picture that will stay in people’s memories.
. Read it to someone you trust. We all need a good editor when we write something, and writing a eulogy is no different. Because your emotions are involved, you need someone else’s opinion of what you’ve written before you print the final draft. Feedback from a third party will help to keep things in perspective.